In order to find closure you must get everything off your chest. It’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. It’s necessary. If you don’t lay everything out on the table, you’ll constantly wonder if things could be different. You don’t want to live your life without loving loudly and speaking your truth. 

I had a massive crush on one of my friends, and we started talking. One night the line of friendship was crossed. We agreed we needed to talk about it. When talking I was caught completely off guard that he wanted nothing. I didn’t say what I really felt. In part this was because I was shocked. For the next two months he continued to lead me on. He didn’t know I still wanted him because I told him otherwise. How was I supposed to get over him if I resented him for dominating our conversation, and his continued faux interest in me? I needed to get it all out. 

Jumping into the New Year from the comfort of my hometown friends and bubbles of champagne I call him and briefly explain how he made me feel. He apologizes. It’s not enough. I block him. I can’t leave things like that. I still see him everyday. I still haven’t explained my side. He doesn’t know how I feel. 

We come back for the second semester and we talk. I am so panicked that no matter how hard I thought about it, I still don’t know how to articulate how I feel. I panic. I read to him from my journal. I find the way to walk him through my feelings. There’s no blame. There’s no judgement. It’s about how I feel, and helping myself get the closure I need to move on. Unfortunately, it’s not about him. 

Life is too short to not tell someone how you feel. You need to have vulnerable and candid conversations to work your way through a difficult situation. Without truth you can never have closure. It’s your life, get it all out or be held back by the anxiety that you could have done more.