believe me

this is the last time I split the lovely sections of my heart 

open for you

asking for the only kind of reassurance you will not give



they'll stand at the edge of our grave and say

you gave more 

it certainly looked that way



but we both saw the nail marks I left in your skin

we both know how I glued us together each night

continuously pouring my empathy over you like gasoline



and I watched myself degrade from your touch 

standing in a familiar bathroom with unfamiliar wounds

blood running down my legs as I prayed for an apology that never came 



your friends will call you the victor 

and me the villain

just another woman asking for too much



forgive me for taking the world you offered

forgive me for believing I was in heaven when you called me an angel 

forgive me for all the sins I committed in pursuit of your affection 



you never meant those words for me

you were simply reading from a script of everything that had worked in the past 

and I fell right on cue. embarrassing really ‑ to be so predictable 



all I can ask, is for a lasting impression of my final performance

where I knelt before you and asked for freedom

but is freedom still freedom if I’m running from the only person who ever knew me?



tell me its possible to feel safe in the same arms that push me away

tell me there is a way to love you without a knife in my hand

and I’ll believe you