From Chinese and Japanese folklore, the Red String theory states that the people whom we love are connected to us by invisible red strings. We are destined to be with them regardless of the time, place, or circumstance.
I have always believed in the Red String theory since the minute I learned about it. I believed that too many “coincidences” happen in life for them to truly be coincidences. There are too many people I have met in my life that I am strangely connected to, or that I have met more than once, for that matter.
But I think that the Red String theory is more specific. I think that Pittsburgh is actually the red string, pulling together my life.
Since I was young, Pittsburgh has pulled me like a magnet. I lived in Vermont as a kid, and loved every minute of it, but when I acted up in preschool, I would tell my teacher that, “it doesn’t matter if I listen because soon I'm leaving for Pittsburgh.” Pittsburgh was always on the back of my mind. When it came time to pick where I was going to college, I was given the choice between New York and Pittsburgh, and I chose Pittsburgh. It wasn’t my first choice, but something about Pitt reeled me in.
Unlike other large cities, there's a chance you know someone from every part of Pittsburgh. It’s small with a population of 310,000 people. New York has a population of over 8 million, and Chicago’s is nearly 3. Of course, this means that you are more likely to run into people, but that doesn’t explain the Pittsburgh diaspora- the people I’ve met thousands of miles away from Pittsburgh, who are from Pittsburgh.
I wanted to hear other people’s stories, and I wanted to reach as many people as possible. Strangely, the way to reach the most people in Pittsburgh, whose demographic is mostly students and old people, was through Facebook, so I put out a Facebook post asking people to share their Red String story– specifically one that related to Pittsburgh.
On the first day, I got 15 replies, and by the end of the week, 54. The stories were heartwarming about love, friendship, and overall how Pittsburgh brought together people’s lives, proving my theory that Pittsburgh ties us together; it is the center of the universe.
Here are some of my favorite stories. The ones that made me laugh, cry, and realize just how much I love Pittsburgh.
Ella’s Story
“I'm from upstate NY, and I went to high school at a boarding school in northern Michigan. I had a lot of wonderful friends who I stayed in touch with, and some who I didn't.
I went off to college in NYC, then worked around the country for several years until I moved to Pittsburgh in 2016. I sublet a room in a house from a grad student who was gone over the summer. A few days after I moved here, the landlord let me know I'd be getting a roommate. I came home and there was a stranger in my kitchen: my new roommate.
She introduced herself as having just moved to Pittsburgh for med school and said, ‘Hang on, do I know you?’
No, I said, I'm not from here.
‘Wait,’ she said. ‘Did you go to boarding school in northern Michigan?’
Turns out she lived across the hall from me our sophomore year. She'd graduated a year ahead of me. We'd been friends but not super close, so we'd lost touch. And then about a decade later, we ended up subletting from the same grad student to start the next chapter of our lives in Pittsburgh, hundreds of miles from where we first met.
Now we're good friends, and I love her like a sister. She moved away a few years ago but she's moving back soon, and I can't wait.”
Judith’s Story:
“Had my knee operated on by Dr. David Steele at Allegheny General Hospital and was in Hilton Head, SC, recovering... sitting on the beach when a runner came by...we exchanged pleasantries. He asked who did my knee surgery, and I said Doc Steele...he asked which one... I said David... he said... ‘that's my dad and I just finished talking to him on the phone.’”
Bonnie’s Story:
“My dad arrested a guy in North Strabane Twp in the early 80s. Arrested him in Pasco County, FL, and then again in North Strabane. All in the early 80s!”
Donna’s Story:
“When I met my husband, I lived in Crafton, and he was from Carrick. After dating for a while, when our parents met, we learned that 40 years before that, our moms had been friends and walked to grade school together!
We also had many mutual friends through the years... but he and I never met!
Now, we have been married for 38 years.”
Audrey’s Story:
“My one grandfather came as a young man with only a couple of kids; the other came to Pittsburgh as a four-year-old. They lived a block away from each other in Allegheny City (now the North Side). Twenty years later, they were living two blocks apart in the Bluff. Thirty years after that, my folks would meet and get married, one set of grandparents lived at one end of a long street in Squirrel Hill, and the other remaining grandmother lived at the other end! The remaining grandma actually met my mother before my folks were married, but she was in the hospital and did not live to see their wedding.
We presumed that both sets of my grandparents had never met, but after we researched where they lived, we found out they may as well have!”
Barb’s story:
“I live in a small town in Eastern PA near Wilkes Barre, but I grew up in Shaler Twp. One Christmas vacation, my husband was in a bar with my father. They were talking to a friend of my dad’s, and he was introduced to his friend as being from Berwick, Pa. My dad’s friend said his daughter just bought a house there! My husband asked where it was, and it turns out they moved into our house that we just sold! His daughter and I both graduated from Shaler and lived in the same house 250 miles away! The reason we never knew that is that her mother-in-law actually purchased the house for them. In addition, the people we bought the house from were originally from Pittsburgh, too!”
Michele’s Story:
“Years ago, when I moved to Ohio from the Pittsburgh area, I randomly picked a place to get my nails done. After chatting with the nail tech, I learned that her parents were from the same town as me. Turns out her parents were in my aunt and uncle's wedding, and her uncle was my softball coach when I was a kid!”
Nick’s Story:
“I travel the tristate area and run into Pittsburgh natives all the time, especially those living in WV and OH. Many are connected to someone I know; it seems like Pittsburghers do have tighter connections than other cities. Mitch Albom wrote a book that said everyone can connect within six questions. In Pittsburgh, it's three. My dad worked at Westinghouse and J&L steel, and there is never a failure to be a person whose relative also did!”
Barbara’s Story:
“My parents married in 1941 at St. Mary Magdalene in Homestead. They found out that they had both been baptized at that same church on the same day in 1918. Their families did not know one another until years later, when my parents were dating.”
Alice’s Story:
“Just a few days ago, we were visiting in Eureka, California, and we went to a little tiny lighthouse near Trinidad, I believe. While we were searching the low tide area, there was another couple doing the same thing, and we started chatting. It turns out he was from my hometown of West Newton (near Pittsburgh).”
Paul’s story:
“I was born, raised, and educated in Pittsburgh. In 1970, I moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma, for law school. I stayed in Tulsa and have been a private practice attorney since 1973. I have met many expat Pittsburghers in Tulsa and on my travels. Many of my connections have come up because of Steelers or Pirates gear. I met one man at the Tulsa Drillers (minor league baseball), and he was wearing a Steelers shirt. It turned out that we were the same age; he graduated in 1966 from North Hills High School, and I graduated from North Allegheny. We both played sports in high school and probably competed against each other. My new friend's father was a coach at West View High and later at North Hills. He coached several of my cousins!”
Annie’s story:
“My partner and I actually tattooed our red string of fate on our pinkies. We fell in love in HIgh school in a tiny town three hours from Pittsburgh, but lost touch for seven years. We both moved out here and reconnected. We've been together for almost two years now!”
Carrie’s Story:
“My story doesn’t start in Pittsburgh, but it came all the way to Pittsburgh!
When I was three years old, I had a babysitter named! She was 16 at the time.
V had a rough home life and eventually ended up in foster care. My parents informally adopted her, and when she turned 18, she took a nannying job in NYC and went off. She’d send Christmas cards the first few years after moving out, which is how we were able to keep track of where she was, but after a while, the cards just stopped. This was before the age of cellphones and social media, so we fell out of touch completely.
I’d think about V sometimes and hope she was doing well. I had fond memories of those few years when I had a big sister. I’d never had a way to reach out to her, and if she was on social media now, she wasn’t using her full name.
Fast forward to 2025, I am 31 years old and married. I met my husband at Syracuse University and ended up settling down in Pittsburgh, closer to his family.
Recently, out of the blue, V called my parents’ house. She wanted to thank them for everything they did for her all those years ago. During their conversation, V mentioned that she was now living in Pittsburgh, PA.
My parents had a trip already planned to come visit, and while they were here, we made plans to meet up with V. Since then, we have met up on numerous occasions for coffee, dinner, and game nights. She has a 7-year-old daughter and is the best mom.
It’s incredible to have her back in my life nearly 30 years later, and somehow, we both ended up in Pittsburgh.”
My Story:
“I met my boyfriend, Nick, more than once before we actually started dating. First on social media (like every 21st-century couple), but our conversation didn’t last very long, and I ended up unfriending him on everything. A few weeks later, I was at the Medallion ball, which is an event for girls in Pittsburgh who have completed over 150 community service hours. Each girl is required to bring a “suitor” to dance with, who, most of the time, is just a good friend. When practices for the ball had just started, I barely knew anyone in the program. I just so happened to sit next to a few girls from Pine Richland High School. Turns out, one of them ended up bringing Nick as her suitor for the night. Two days later, we went out for breakfast, and Nick was our server. My Nonna tried to get his number for me and wouldn’t stop talking about how cute he was.
Eventually, he reached out to me again on Instagram when he found out I was going to Pitt; turns out he was going to Pitt, too. We never actually made plans to hang out; I was far too nervous, and my sister had been editing us together in photos for the past six months. We even wrote a song about him. . . needless to say, we were obsessed.
Fast forward to freshman year, I was wandering around the dorm after a Thursday night in Mario’s, and I just so happened to run right into Nick. He didn’t even live in my dorm; his friend had swiped him in. A year later, I would look back at those photos from that fateful Thursday night at Mario’s (before I met him in the dorm), just to find that he was in the background of every single photo. It was fate.And, the best part about this was that we didn’t even start dating until months later at Christmas. We just kept running into each other until Pittsburgh’s Red String of Fate finally tied us together."
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