I was recently scrolling through Instagram reels after a long day of classes. Tini, my maybe 3-month-old kitten (she’s a barn cat, so the age is a guesstimate) was biting at my toes when I came across one of those inspirational videos of people being surprised. I’m a sucker for a feel-good funny moment, so I stayed and watched. About halfway through the video, a scene of two older women, titled as being best friends, were reunited. As I am scrolling through the comments and as they laugh and hug, I stumble across a comment that says, ‘imagine how many times they had to forgive each other.’ This really struck me. I’ve never thought about the bad times in friendship longevity. I guess I had assumed everyone got along and were magically perfect. Never did I think a connection like that was a thing that was worked for. 

Of course I have had my own hardships in the friend section. And more recently, as I grow—and scroll—I realize not everything is cut and dry. Things are messy, people are messy. And that is the best part. The mess, the joy, the excitement, the passion, the love. But friendship doesn’t just stop there. With every mess, there needs to be clean ups. There are apologies, and brevity, and awkwardness. I’ve realized that doesn’t mean things are broken, it doesn’t cancel out the good times. Instead, it is a testament to the foundation that love is built upon. Forgiveness, as well as accepting when one is wrong, isn’t an easy feat. If it were, nobody would fear messing up. And to be honest, I don’t think the two women on my screen would be as happy as they look. If every building fell in San Francisco when an earthquake hit, people would stop living there. But the city thrives. Because in our hearts, as people, we forgive. We pick up the mess, even when it isn’t easy. And we keep going. Because everybody deserves to be the people on my screen, at 10pm at night, making me tear up at the love radiating through the screen. Okay, maybe the tears are from Tini, but the effect is still the same.