I think we (ladies) can all agree that being a girl has both upsides and downsides. I absolutely love being a woman, I could sit and talk for hours about how wonderful it is. Honestly, I have gone on endless rants about being a girl and the good that it brings. And across all the conversations that I’ve had, there’s one specific feature about being a woman that I adamantly believe is the crowning jewel: sisterhood. The backbone, the foundation, the essence of being a woman lies in the unspoken bond we have with each other.

I’m sure almost everyone is familiar with girl code, the unspoken rules that we somehow know and abide by. I don’t absolutely love this term. I feel like the foundation of “girl code” and what it has become with time is all twisted. In recent years it has almost turned into a way to punish or restrict each other. I’m suspicious where these “rules” even came from and what they really represent. I recently heard someone explain that girl code feels like a defensive measure that developed during a time when men had serious authority over women. Like when women couldn’t vote and couldn’t own property or couldn’t build any wealth of their own. During that time, the moment when women had the most (still not a lot) influence was during the “courtship” period.

So, during that window women had some leeway in who they gave attention to, who they went on dates with, etc. But that “power” only works when a man is pursuing one woman at a time. I kind of think about it like two competing businesses: customers buy the best deal, and availability affects price while demand increases it. In this analogy, men are the market but also somehow get to decide the price. That leaves only one area where a woman can exert any influence: availability!

This is what made it so important for ladies to not hook up with each other’s exes, it wasn’t just because of morality or loyalty (though this of course played a huge role), but because it increased availability and decreased price! (I hate having to compare women to products, it's gross, but that was the logic of the world back then.) Whether this interpretation of girl code is perfect or not, I think it has some truth to it.

That’s why I’d much rather say that sisterhood is what ties us together. Girl code was a set of rules created so we could gain a bit more influence over our future, and I don’t think that the values we live by should be shaped by or the result of men.

Okay, so we’ve established that girl code is out. Now let me convince you why sisterhood is in.

Throughout my childhood, I was a Girl Scout. We had weekly meetings, an hour and half of pure girl time. I learned some important skills during those years, but what mattered even more were the friendships I made. I’m talking about girls who will absolutely be my bridesmaids one day (if I ever manage to get over hating men). We ended each meeting standing in a circle, holding hands, and repeating the Girl Scouts Law, which ends with “and be a sister to every girl (scout)!” We’d scream it at the top of our lungs and then immediately fall into a frenzy of hugs and laughter. Can you imagine repeating that mantra every week for your entire childhood?

We were celebrating sisterhood.

I can’t take you back with me into those precious moments, so I’ll try my best to sum up what I mean when I talk about sisterhood: Have unconditional love for the girls around you. Accept each other wholeheartedly. We all know what it’s like to be a woman — the beautiful parts, the exhausting parts, the heavy parts — so we must stand together, support each other, and try our absolute best to understand one another.

And most importantly…

Sisterhood is knowing that no matter what phase of life you’re in, there is a woman out there who gets it. Someone who will hype you up, defend you without being asked, cry with you in a bathroom stall, laugh with you until your stomach hurts, or sit with you in silence when that’s all you can handle. Sisterhood is the feeling of being seen — truly seen — by people who share your battles, your joys, and the tiny, intimate experiences that only other women fully understand. It’s choosing to lift each other up instead of competing. It’s believing in abundance over scarcity. It’s the soft, steady reminder that you are never, ever alone.

Because at the end of the day, being a woman is not just about individual strength — it’s about the collective strength we build together. And there is nothing more powerful, more comforting, or more profoundly beautiful than that.